Yoga Life Book
Page 15
SELF INTROSPECTION THROUGH TRUTHFULNESS - ACESSING OUR TRUE NATURE
The following is brief description of the stages that one goes through
to reach our true state.
Stage 1. Superficiality, socially appropriate politeness, guarded,
separate, mental, adherence to blind belief, stoic, busy mind.
Stage 2. Feelings, confrontational, honest, truthful, crying, laughing,
intense, anger, hostility, argumentative, impulsive, direct, expressive,
emotional.
Stage 3. Emptiness, lack of structure, seeming meaninglessness, no
belief to hang on to, openness, vulnerability. letting go.
Stage 4. Oneness, upliftment, love, awareness, knowing, intuitive,
creative, ecstatic, caring, abundant, a falling in love with yourself
and the whole world.
The practice of truthfulness.
1. Refrain from generalizations—each of us experiences everything
in our own unique way. Generalizing or “telling a story” can
serve to deny and repress individual expression. Most of us communicate
superficially. It is an unconscious, gentle process whereby people
who want to be accepted attempt to be so by telling little white
lies, by withholding some of the truth about themselves and their
feelings in order to avoid conflicts and alienation. People are so
accustomed to being well mannered that they are able to deploy their
good manners without even thinking about what they are doing. It
is as if every individual member is operating according to the same
book of etiquette. It is easy to see how these rules make for workable
interaction. But these crush individuality, intimacy and honesty.
It leaves one empty; a one way trip to nowhere.
2. Speak personally—I am the only person for whom I can speak
with authority. All I can truly share with you is who I am, what
I think, feel, and experience.
3. Be vulnerable—By sharing my weakness as well as my strength,
I invite others to also feel safe enough to be their whole selves
with me and respond to me.
4. Speak to reveal, not to convince—When we attempt to convert
each other we believe we are being loving and we are truly surprised
at the hostility that sometimes arises. After all, isn’t
it the loving thing to do to relieve others of their suffering
or help them see the light?
Actually, however, almost all these attempts to convert are not only naive
and ineffective but quite self centered and self serving My most basic motive
when I strive to convert or improve someone is to feel good myself. Often when
we offer our unsolicited solution to someone’s problems our unconscious
motive is to build our self esteem. It makes us feel good to know the solution, “the
right way”. We build ourselves up at another’s expense. The person
you’re trying to improve, subconsciously or consciously, is hurt by being
used, is resentful and hostile.
The most loving thing we can do when a friend
is in pain is just to be there and listen.
5. Be straight forward—Often we don’t tell someone how
we feel about them because we don’t want to hurt their feelings.
But in fact what actually happens is we hurt them more by not telling
them how we feel. Subconsciously or consciously, we all sense when
someone is not being straight with us and we also sense when someone
is hostile towards us. By not communicating our feelings we are telling
that person they are not worthy or not able to handle how we feel
about them. This adds insult to injury. By not communicating verbally,
we confuse and prolong the discomfort. There are ways of expressing
the truth without hurting anyone’s feelings. An example: “I
think you are a jerk” A more truthful way to express this would
be: “I feel uncomfortable or unattracted when you act or say
certain things”. Using the excuse of not wanting to hurt someone’s
feelings as a reason for not telling the truth causes a great deal
of separation and illusion for ourselves and others. Learning to
tell the truth without hurting feelings is the part of the practice
of satya
6. Listen wholeheartedly—Listening with full, open-hearted
attention can be very effortful. It can also be powerful and beneficial
for both the speaker and the listener.
7. Embrace the painful as well as the pleasant—There seems
to be a strong human tendency to avoid pain. This tendency can
isolate us by forcing us to hide our pain from each other. Be willing
to listen to and express that which is painful, that which is joyful,
and any reality in between.
8. Empty ourselves of preconceptions and expectations of what the
experience will be like... until such time as we can empty ourselves
and stop trying to fit others and our relationships with them into
a preconceived mold we cannot listen, hear or experience.
9. Drop your prejudice—That is, the judgments we make about
people with little or no experience of them. Not a workshop goes
by when most of us quickly conclude that some person is a real “nerd,” only
to discover later that person has enormous gifts.
10. Ideology, theology and solutions should be put on hold and
discard any idea that assumes the status of “the only and
right way.”
When a group or individuals follows these guidelines for a period
of time and becomes open and empty, an upliftment occurs. It is a
kind of peace. The room is bathed in peace. When a member of the
group talks about themselves they are being very vulnerable. They
are speaking of the deepest part of themselves. The group hangs on
each word. No one realized that person was capable of such eloquence.
When others share it is a gift to the whole group.
And then something
almost singular happens. The most dominant mood is one of a deep
joy. It is like falling in love. In a very real sense it is falling
in love with one another, en masse. They feel like hugging everyone
all at once. During the highest moments, the energy level is supernatural.
It is an ecstatic sharing, caring, a Oneness.
ADAPTED FROM “A
DIFFERENT DRUM” by M. Scott Peck.
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