Yoga Life Book
Page 23
SANDY
My own spiritual journey was influenced by a very valuable
experience in my life, learning “passionate compassion” from
a young woman named Sandy.
Before I met Sandy, I saw relationships
and life as the fulfillment of emotional and physical needs. I
saw this as the socially accepted way of being. I had no idea that
anything else was possible. Then an experience occurred that took
me out of this way of thinking.
I was nineteen. I lived with a
small group of people on an isolated beach near Vancouver, Canada.
It was a very beautiful time. The sunset and sunrise were our visual
entertainment. Heart-felt communication and music were the basis
of our social activity. It was real and fulfilling.
Often new people
came to see what was going on. At first cautious and reserved,
they opened up, as they responded to the caring and warmth of the
group. It felt good to be a part of something that was changing people’s
lives for the better. The fresh air, the sunshine, the water, the
closeness, it was all so simple and yet so naturally intoxicating.
We didn’t need any artificial
intoxicants.
Trips to the city were shocking. The difference
between our robust glow and the stress and pallor of those living
in the city was clear. It was easy to see that the way we were
living at the beach was what life was all about.
Sandy and I were
studying Tibetan Yoga, compassion, deep caring and humility as
taught by the Tibetans had power. There was also time alone just
being with nature, watching the day pass. Most of us had led lives
where we were so busy between work and school that we had no awareness
of the depth that nature gave.
This environment set the ground work
for a totally new kind of relationship and way of life. This experience
was a catalyst for getting in touch with my true nature, my caring
nature.
For reasons I didn’t understand at the time, my relationship
with Sandy was unlike anything I had ever previously seen or experienced.
Sandy intuitively guided our relationship. She knew what to do.
We were very close but the relationship was neither possessive
nor sexual. Mostly we talked, enjoyed water and sky. Our love was
a warm contentment. We did not consume each other.
It was awkward
when we first started sharing. Painful feelings surfaced as we
explored the unsettled events that had shaped our lives. When we
had talked through these things, we discovered that these previous
events no longer had such an influence on our lives. There was a sense
of freedom. Each time we’d get
together, our mutual love allowed our emotional blocks to be replaced
with greater love. It was magical, a joyous closeness.
One morning we walked a long way out on the beach when the tide was
at its lowest ebb. We sat in the morning mist talking. Although we
sat apart we felt as one. I was overwhelmed with the intensity of our
caring for each other. I felt I would give up my life for her. I felt
as if we were merging into each other. At a point when we felt we could
not be closer or more in love, everything changed. We entered another
state of awareness. The beauty became totally fulfilling. Everything
became an intoxicating, beautiful glow. The glow was the respect and
trust we had for each other. We saw in each other the reflection of
pure love.
I felt like a change had occurred in me on a molecular level.
When I saw my friends in the next few days they reacted in astonishment
and approval at the change they saw in me. I felt loving and abundant.
I learned from Sandy that this experience was not about her and
me. It was not about emotional neediness or sexual gratification
or even companionship. It was a deep caring within ourselves. This
deep caring is, for me, the essence of the spiritual experience.”
By
Craig Perkins
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